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Ass Cancer Diaries

The diary of a millennials’ journey with ass cancer

I always thought I would be writing a beauty blog (which is my true passion), but going through this time in my life, I wanted to share my story with others going through something similar

About the blog

Scroll down to see my posts - they are in no particular "order", but the newest posts are at the top

When I get that feeling, I need "alternative?" healing.

This whole process has made me look into anything and everything that might help me. A few years ago, my boss at the time (a woman in her...

ACD

Dec 23, 2020

Guilt.

Warning - this post is going to be depressing AF (*note to parents, "AF" = as fuck.). In addition to the many "issues" I'm working...

ACD

Dec 19, 2020

Did Scrooge have ass cancer too?

If so, this would make a lot of sense. I would be a crusty ass old man at Christmas if I had ass cancer. Actually, I'm just a crusty ass...

ACD

Dec 18, 2020

CCC! Read all about it!

I'm not usually one to bombard people with my personal or political views, or to preach about things. I'm definitely a big supporter of...

ACD

Dec 14, 2020

Some good news.

Let me start off by saying that I had a full on meltdown in front of the doctor yesterday. I think it was a combination of relief,...

ACD

Dec 9, 2020

C.B.D. It's dynamite

oi,oi,oi. C.B.D. (like the song by AC/DC). The doctors say no for some reason, but the nurses (and everyone else who has compassion), say...

ACD

Dec 3, 2020

Arm out. Chest in.

It's 2:47am. Good news is, the PICC is out of my arm (hooray!), bad news is (only temporary bad news), my chest port hurts like a bitch....

ACD

Nov 24, 2020

The vampire effect - and other "fun" skin stuff

The amount of money that I've spent over the years on IPL (Intense Pulsed Light) and facial treatments, now seems like a waste. For those...

ACD

Nov 20, 2020

We're all waiting patiently, so sit the F down!

Ohhh, these last few days (7 days actually) were rough. I'm not going to lie, this sucks....although, yesterday and today, things are...

ACD

Nov 20, 2020

When the pipe bursts, the condo will flood

Honestly, this year is soooooo amazing. I fucking love it. As if this shit show couldn't get any worse, my parents' condo flooded while...

ACD

Nov 11, 2020

Hair tumbleweeds, and 90's brows

They told me that I wouldn't lose my hair completely, and for that I am so grateful. I expected the hair on my head to thin out for sure,...

ACD

Nov 11, 2020

I am electric. Seriously.

You know when you get a static shock? That little shock that makes you think, "ooh! ya got me you bastard!"? Well, multiply that by 1000,...

ACD

Nov 11, 2020

Give me the drugs. I am a pussy.

One thing that you need to know about me, is that my biggest fear in life, is pain. Do not ask me if I prefer to go the "natural" route,...

ACD

Nov 9, 2020

The closest thing to a doctor you have in your friend group

When you are first diagnosed, you are in shock, and you know NOTHING. Keep in mind that I have diabetes, so this just adds another "fun"...

ACD

Nov 9, 2020

"Help me, I'm poor", No, really. I need help showering.

Nothing, I mean, NOTHING, makes you feel more attractive than having to ask your significant other to wrap you up in plastic wrap like...

ACD

Nov 9, 2020

Holy shit. People show up.

The generosity and kindness that I've been shown, is mind-blowing. Friends, family, family friends, acquaintances, coworkers, people I've...

ACD

Nov 8, 2020

Just made the cut! I am considered to be a "young adult"?!

The cutoff age for the hospitals' AYA (Adolescent and Young Adult) Group is 39! Woo! I just made the cut. Score! This is flattering. I am...

ACD

Nov 8, 2020

Thank God I don't have to go into the office

Pandemic + cancer + not having to physically go into the office = silver lining. I don't want to see people, especially work people. I am...

ACD

Nov 8, 2020

You will knock me out for this, right?

Honestly, I am such a baby when it comes to pain. When the doctors told me I had to get PICC line (yes, that is the horrifying name for...

ACD

Nov 8, 2020

Me - "I'll be hitting the bars by Christmas". Doctors - "Nope."

When my doctor told me that I had rectal cancer, I honestly thought I would be good to go in about 5-6 weeks. I was under the impression...

ACD

Nov 7, 2020